By Shanna A. Hocking
While rejection can be uncomfortable, it is an unavoidable part of any career.
I have spent my career in major gift fundraising, where hearing no is a daily part of the job.
Throughout my life, I’ve been rejected from jobs, meeting requests, awards, and speaking opportunities. In many ways, these rejections define how I approach my leadership, career, and goals. I’ve determined that I won’t let other people deter me from pursuing what’s most important to me. And I’m committed to supporting team members, clients, and friends in pursuing what’s important to them, too. Through it all, I’ve kept going, because I believe in what’s possible for myself and others.
No one likes to get rejected. However, hearing no is part of what happens when you put yourself out there. You can let rejection hold you back or you can figure out what you’ll do differently next time to keep moving forward.
Here are four things you can do when faced with rejection.
REDEFINE REJECTION
Rejection is uncomfortable. You put yourself out there for something and it didn’t go as you hoped or planned. Rejection, however, isn’t failure. Instead, I recommend reframing it as an opportunity to learn. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience? In seeking out learning, you can create meaning from rejection. You can reflect further by considering what was important to you about this opportunity and what you would do differently next time.
If you are having difficulty redefining rejection, try to reflect on these questions during a walk or by writing out your thoughts on paper. I personally like to reflect while exercising to remind me of my strength and resilience. To be clear, redefining how you approach rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel angry, frustrated, or sad when you get rejected. I still feel all of those feelings. However, it should help you get back up after a rejection—ideally, more determined than you were before.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE REJECTION
The next time you get rejected for something, send a thank-you note. Whatever process you were involved in took time and effort for you and others, whether you were rejected from a job, a professional development opportunity, or an award. Though the last thing you might feel is thankful, at a minimum you can acknowledge the time and effort of everyone involved.
Here is an example of what you can include in your note: “Thank you for your consideration. I had hoped this would work out as I was excited about the opportunity. I would welcome continuing the conversation in the future and look forward to staying in contact.”
Sending a thank-you note after you’ve been rejected can benefit you professionally. I’ve been considered for new opportunities, made new connections, and had other doors opened for me—all because I sent a note after a rejection. But most importantly, I always send a thank-you note because it is a reflection of who I am and what I value: gratitude.
CONNECT WITH OTHERS FOR SUPPORT
Rejection can make you feel vulnerable and, in some cases, undermine your feelings of self-worth. Sometimes the pain of rejection comes from facing something alone, rather than the rejection itself. To work through these challenges, surround yourself with people who remind you of your strengths. Research shows that positive social interactions can alleviate pain and contribute to overall well-being. Spend time with loved ones and friends to offer a listening ear. Connect with a trusted colleague who will offer encouragement for putting yourself out there for opportunities.
PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE (AGAIN)
When you’ve been rejected but believe you’re meant for something better, it can lead to new creative solutions, according to research. If you want to do things you’ve never done before, you have to put yourself out there and follow through—even if success isn’t guaranteed. The only true form of failure is never trying in the first place.
I would estimate that I’ve heard hundreds, maybe even thousands of noes in my career and life. It’s been challenging, and sometimes heartbreaking. With perseverance and time, I made it to the corner office in my dream career, raised millions of dollars for philanthropic causes, and I can proudly say that my book is on business bookshelves around the world. Rejection is for learning about yourself and clarifying what is most important to you.
The post These 4 steps can help you handle your next rejection at work with grace appeared first on Fast Company.
