Advice from Candis Watts Smith, PhD. Professor of Political Science and Interim Vice Provost Undergraduate Education
Ever notice how rejections feel worse than the acceptances feel good?
Here’s something to keep in mind: This feeling is totally normal, but rejection is not feedback.
A rejection letter can throw you for a loop. It can be disappointing, but it is not an indication of your talent, skills, contributions, potential, insight, or even a lack thereof.
I find myself in the unfortunate position of giving people bad news on a semi-regular basis, but here’s why I have to do this 98% of the time:
First and foremost: Fit.
Many times, amazing human beings apply to programs/jobs where their own skills, talents, values, and interests do not actually align with the mission and goals of the thing they applied to. So, it’s not that you’re not awesome, it’s just that your good qualities may be mismatched with what the program offers or needs.
Second: Lack of resources.
When you get a letter that’s like, “We had tough decisions to make blah blah blah…” those people are not lying! (Just think about Duke: 55,000 people apply for like 3,000 spots!) Ideally, pies would be made bigger rather than pieces made smaller, but it has nothing to do with you.
Those are the main reasons.
If you’ve received a rejection letter, you should not take that as feedback. You should take feedback as feedback—like someone actually explaining to you how well or not well your skills fit; how concise and clear your writing is; or how fluently you perform in an interview setting.
And if you get feedback on these things, there are tons of resources that can help you level up: the Duke Career Center, the Writing Center, Learning Consultants at the ARC, and people that make up the constellation of mentors I keep encouraging you to cultivate. Just keep in mind: you can always elevate the quality of your application, your skills, and even your network, but fit and resources are still in play.
A rejection letter—in and of itself—is not an indication of your ability, potential, or your character. It doesn’t speak to your worth.
So, if you want feedback, solicit it from trusted experts and mentors. And in the meantime, celebrate the wins, y’all. You got this.
