Making Small Talk Guide

We often hear about small talk and that it is important for everyday interactions as well as professional networking. But, what exactly is small talk? How do you make small talk? This resource covers the basics of small talk (what, who, why, and where) as well as practical examples of how to engage in small talk, enter conversations, leave conversations, and more!

In-person career fair shot from over head.

What: What is (and isn’t) small talk? Small talk is conversation about topics considered relatively inconsequential. They often do not require profound thought or insights. A few examples of small talk include the weather, sports, hobbies, entertainment (shows, podcasts, etc.), food, pets, travel, and books. Topics best to avoid during small talk include politics, religion, relationship status, health, personal finances, or any other subjects that could make someone feel uncomfortable or be considered controversial.

Who: Small talk is used to get to know someone better, so it is common to engage in small talk as a means of making new connections with strangers and acquaintances.

Why: By using small talk, we can slowly learn about someone in a way that feels approachable and friendly. Small talk creates a more comfortable, positive atmosphere, which can foster a relaxed interaction. Building a baseline of trust and connection is essential before delving into deeper conversations.

Where: Small talk can happen anywhere! It is common in spaces where you may encounter people you do not know like conferences, career fairs and other employer engagement events, classes/trainings, traveling, networking, interviewing, starting a new job/internship/graduate program, and more.

How: We’ll break this part down into a few sections.

  1. Prepare. Set realistic goals for yourself regarding small talk. Examples may include, “I will introduce myself to three new people at this event.” Or, “I will ask two people if we can connect on LinkedIn.” Or, “I’m going to practice making small talk with three people with an emphasis on listening as well as asking quality follow-up questions.”
  2. Approaching One Person.
    • “Hi, I’m __________________, a graduate student at Duke. How are you enjoying [event] so far?”
    • “Hello, I’m _____________________. How are you? (Pause for response). I really liked what the keynote speaker had to say. What did you think?”
    • “Hi, I’m ______________________. Have you been to this event before?”
    • If talking to an employer: “Hi, I’m ________________. Thank you for your presentation. I enjoyed learning about your company/research/mission (choose one). I was wondering if you could tell me more about _______________________.” (Reference something you found interesting about their presentation or that you’re curious about).
    • For specific tips on how to approach employers at a career fair, visit our Career Fair Prep Guide.
  3. Joining a Group Conversation.
    • Circulate around the event/room to find a group that appears open to joining.
    • Go up to the group, listen to the discussion for a few moments, then contribute to the conversation when there is a pause. Try not to cut anyone off mid-sentence. If you do, simply apologize and offer to introduce yourself once they have finished speaking.
    • Or, introduce yourself at a pause with, “Hi, how is everyone doing? I’m __________________. Do you mind if I join your conversation?”
    • Note: If you are part of a group and see someone trying to join a discussion, invite them into your group!
  4. Keeping a Conversation Going.
    • Listen and try to identify things you have in common with others.
    • Follow your curiosity: ask open-ended, follow-up questions in response to what others are saying.
    • React to what the speaker is saying.
    • Allow space in the conversation for others to speak. Ask questions and then pause to let others respond. Try not to dominate the conversation by talking too much or asking too many questions.
    • In larger groups, it’s okay to break into smaller groups for more interaction as opposed to everyone staying in one large group.
  5. Exiting the Conversation.
    • Wait for a break in the conversation and say:
      • “It was really nice meeting you, and I hope to stay in touch. Do you mind if we connect or LinkedIn or do you prefer another way to stay connected?”
      • “Excuse me, I see my colleague/friend and I’d like to go say hello to them. It was so nice chatting with you.”
      • “It was nice speaking with you, but I don’t want to monopolize your time. I hope you enjoy the rest of the event.”
      • “Please excuse me, I need to get a drink/bite to eat. It was great talking with you today.” (Be sure to actually go do whatever you said you were exiting the conversation to do.)

Go-To Topics:

  • How is your day going so far?
  • What brought you to this event?
  • Have you attended similar events?
  • What do you do? What projects are you currently working on?
  • What interesting places have you visited? Would you recommend traveling there? What was your favorite part of the trip?
  • What do you do in your free time? What do you enjoy about that?
  • What do you like to read, listen to, or watch?

How Do I Improve My Small Talk?

  • Practice! Making small talk is a skill, so the primary way to get better is to practice.
  • Start by practicing in situations where there is less pressure. This may be with peers, a Career Advisor, or a mentor/advisor. Ask for input from people you trust to give you honest feedback.
  • The more you practice, the more you will build your confidence!

Additional Resources and Sources of Support: